Children call home often more needy of sympathy than money: they have too much work to do; they're going to fail all their courses; they’ve just fallen out of love; their roommate is "a pain"; no one here cares about them. They tell you how depressed they are and never imagine that you might worry seriously about their fundamental well-being. After the conversation, they hang up and continue coping with their problems. You will likely never hear how things have been resolved. So our first advice is that you reserve judgment on the seriousness of the blues (as you probably would if your child were at home). Listen, acknowledge the difficulties, sympathize, listen some more, and call back in a few days.
A radical or alarming change in your child’s behavior or personality may indicate a very serious emotional or drug problem. Parents are often the first to notice such a change. If you do, please, please call the appropriate advising dean or a clinician at Psychological Services and discuss the situation.
Having given our first advice, we need to give second advice. Parents are likely to notice early and clearly when something is going seriously wrong. If you become concerned about your child’s emotional or academic situation, please call an advising dean. The dean can call the student in, ask how things are going, help sort issues out, and, if necessary, refer the student to appropriate sources of help. Sometimes problems that were under control in the security of family and a successful high school career become acute away from home in a more competitive environment. Parents often pick up on this earlier than anyone else.